Equinox Vax Talks

Yesterday, September 22nd, the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that “all temple patrons and workers are asked to wear face masks at all times while in the temple,” and the letter concludes with a statement about how the church has directly encouraged members to be vaccinated, both now and in the past:

“...our urging church members to be vaccinated and to protect themselves and others from the spread of disease has precedent . . . Please do all you can to protect yourself and others so the work of the Lord on both sides of the veil can move forward.”

I have been asking myself how I would respond if President Nelson and his counselors asked me to do something else.  And then urged me repeatedly to do that same thing?  Would I pay attention?  Would I carefully consider their message?  Would I think of them in the capacity of their callings as prophets, seers, and revelators—leaders who can see things “afar off” (D&C 101:54) that I might not be able to see?

What if they “recommended,” in an official statement/letter, that I made sure I had a year’s supply of food storage?  And then continually urged me to do that in subsequent official publications? If they used language like “do all you can do” to prepare for a time when food might not be available for purchase, so that I would “slow the spread” of hunger and panic . . . How would I respond?

I hope I would take a good, hard look at my food and water storage.  I think that I would probably plant a bigger garden and get some books on how to save seeds.  I might try to figure water collection and purification—there are probably lots of things I would do that I had not considered before. I really hope I would respond with faith and with action, even though I might not see what the First Presidency sees.

When we were in Arkansas this summer, I stopped by my friend Juli’s house for a very brief visit.  In that half hour, Juli said something that has stayed with me. “I am pretty conservative in my views, but I’m also a pretty reasonable person.  I wasn’t going to get the vaccine, but when the prophet said “do all you can do” it really hit me and made me think. I decided to go ahead and get vaccinated.”

I love how Juli described herself as “reasonable.” I think the church’s statements about COVID and vaccinations have been characterized by by both reason and love. There is no element of shaming people or finger-pointing, because if you “convince” someone by shaming them, it is a sign of a broken relationship.

The facts are presented:

• We want to keep temples open

• COVID-19 cases are increasing

• Masks slow the spread of disease

• Vaccines slow the spread of diseases

• The church asked members to be vaccinated against smallpox in 1900

• And against polio in 1957

• [see timeline of church's response to COVID-19]

And counsel is lovingly given:

• Wear masks in the temple

• We urge you to be vaccinated and to protect yourself and others

• Do all you can to protect yourself and others so the work of the Lord on both sides of the veil can move forward

I know I am not the first to see a correlation between the brazen serpent in Moses’ time (Numbers 21:9) and the current debate about COVID vaccinations.  It’s easy to dismiss the comparison because the vaccination seems more socially, politically, and economically nuanced than simply “looking” at a brass serpent to be healed.

But if it was so simple, why did some people refuse to look? 

Many things have changed over the centuries, but I think human nature is still a constant.  I am sure those Israelites had their personal reasons that were important to them:

• He may be a prophet, but he is still just a man 
• I am not a blind follower

• Moses is leader of our people, but he’s not the leader of my tribe

• That’s dumb.  How can you guys believe that looking at a statue will heal you?

• I might still get bitten by a fiery serpent, even if I look

Nephi confirmed the human nature element when he explained

...he prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished (1 Nephi 17:41).

Alma had something to say about it, too. 

But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished.  Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.  O my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly? (Alma 33:20-21)

So why am I taking time to write all these thoughts down?  Am I trying to “shame” the handful of people who read my blog into getting vaccinated? 

No, guys.  I just want my friends and family (my loved ones!) to be safe.  Not only do I want them to be safe from contracting or spreading COVID-19 . . . I want them to be safe from what might even more more serious: disregarding or justifying away the counsel of a living prophet.  I know it sounds so weighty to put it this way, but I pray that this post may be read in the spirit it is written: with sober concern and genuine love.

I have been listening to a great podcast called “Follow Him” every week, which is a companion to the Come, Follow Me curriculum.  Just a week ago was the CFM lesson about Zion’s Camp, and I taught that lesson again when I substituted in seminary.  I also re-read a devotional that David A Bednar gave about Zion’s Camp and its modern-day correlations.  I learned so much from Brother Scott Woodward on the CFM podcast, from the Come Follow Me lesson, from sections 102-105, and from Elder Bednar. My mind expanded as I recognized correlations between the challenges the church faced in 1834 and the modern challenges experienced by the church in 2021, 187 years later.

I love this sentence from Come, Follow Me:

Rather than questioning the value of this seemingly unsuccessful task, [faithful members of Zion’s Camp] learned that the real task is to follow the Savior, even when we don’t understand everything.

 I also love the thoughtful questions that are always posed in Come, Follow Me:

How can these principles help you in your own trials of faith?

Those early saints who made the difficult, 900-mile, weeks-long journey from Kirtland to Clay County were hoping for an outcome they never saw, which surely tested and tried their faith—Elder Bednar says it was a time of “testing, sifting, and preparing.”  But the saints who followed the prophet, despite the hardship they endured, were able to draw upon the faith they gained from that experience during the hard times to come.

That lesson of following the prophet, even when the outcomes may not be what we anticipate, has never been more relevant than it is today.

In his devotional about Zion's Camp, Elder Bednar shared this quote from President Harold B. Lee:

We are now going through another test—a period of what we might call sophistication. This is a time when there are many clever people who are not willing to listen to the humble prophets of the Lord. … It is rather a severe test.

 Then Elder Bednar added his own counsel:

[This] test of sophistication is the companion to the test of prosperity and ease. How important it is for each of us to observe, learn from, and follow the Brethren.

One reason I wrote these thoughts down is because I want to help my loved ones without shaming or virtue-signaling or I-told-you-so-ing.  I want to show love, compassion, and understanding the way the Savior always does.  But another reason I wrote it down is a reminder for myself. I sincerely hope that I will be humble enough to follow modern-day prophets, even when it is counsel that goes against other beliefs I might hold.  And I hope my friends and family members will lovingly help me to “look, and live” (Alma 33:19) when I am wrestling with doubts, fears, and concerns, as we all do. 

I close with prophetic counsel from Elder Bednar:

At some point in each of our lives, we will be invited to march in our own Zion’s Camp. The timing of the invitations will vary, and the particular obstacles we may encounter on the journey will be different. But our ongoing and consistent response to this inevitable call ultimately will provide the answer to the question “Who’s on the Lord’s side?” 

The times to show are now, today, tomorrow, and forever. May we ever remember the related lessons of testing, sifting, and preparing and of observing, learning from, and following the Brethren.

Sleepless in Soda Springs

I have been having trouble sleeping for a while.  I wake up, consistently, around 4:00 AM, and I am WIDE AWAKE.  I have had this problem at different times in the past, and I wish I could nail down a common thread . . . this time, I think it is surely related to a heightened state of worry: about the pandemic, about my kids, about family members and friends who are going through very trying times, about the state of the country.  I try to not consciously worry about these things, but they are definitely always in the background of my thoughts.

I usually lay in bed for a while, trying to fall back asleep, but finally just get up.  Though waking up at 4 is not a regular thing, being wide awake when I wake up is 100% how I was made.  I can count on one hand how many times I have "gone back to bed" in my life.  Once I wake up, it is going to be at least six hours until I can even attempt a nap. 

But this morning I need to write down how I have been helped and blessed, despite my sleeplessness and racing thoughts. In the past three weeks, I have turned to the messages from general conference during the small hours, and I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort.  

Every time.  Immediately.

My doubts have been quieted, my worries have been soothed.  Some mornings I have lain on the couch and watched conference talks; other times I have read the talks and taken notes and marked favorite passages.  It's a lesson I have to re-learn, but if you are going to get up at 4:30, there are not many better  ways to ease into the day. 

This morning in particular, I felt such a comfort as I read Dallin H. Oaks' BYU devotional from Tuesday, and Scott D. Whiting's talk entitled "Becoming Like Him."  It really hit me that the best medicine for any trouble is focusing on the Savior.  I felt the Spirit confirm to me the truth of Brother Whiting's words:

In these times, when “all things [appear to] be in commotion; and … fear [is seemingly] upon all people,” the only antidote, the only remedy, is to strive to be like the Savior, the Redeemer of all mankind, the Light of the World, and to seek after He who declared, “I am the way.”

It sounds so obvious, but I fully realized when I read that passage that He has been comforting me, even in the middle of my insomnia, as I have turned to messages from the good men and women who are His disciples.  I have been able to really alleviate anxiety, even unconscious anxiety, far better than by any other method or treatment or course. 

This is Brigham's lock screen on his iPod,
it's called "Hand of God" by Yongsung Kim

Today, Mollie turns thirteen.  Having three teenagers might give anyone cause for anxiety . . . but I feel a renewed desire and an optimism, both to teach all my good children, and to learn from their faith, that Jesus Christ will help all of us "when other helpers fail and comforts flee." (Abide With Me) 

I know He will.

Can We Get a Dog? {Part 3}

Part three in this trilogy is the sad but necessary ending (see part 1: all the reasons we shouldn't get a dog, and part 2: all the reasons we DID get a dog).

We got Jasper at the end of July, and gave him to Truman as an early birthday present.  Jasp was adorable and sweet and we had tons of motivation to work with him and train him.  Over the next seven months, Truman consistently worked with Jasper, fed and watered him, walked, hiked, and played with him.  He could not have possibly done more with his dog, and I was very impressed with how seriously he took his responsibility to care for Jasper. 

Calvin toting around "puppy Jaspy"

His first real bath

Playing in the leaves with Mollie

Chillin' with Allen

Roaming around Chester Hill with the family

Unfortunately . . . there is an unfortunately.  Jasper did not want to stay in the back yard.  It didn't help that 1- our fence is short enough for most dogs to jump or climb over, 2- the kids are in school during all the daylight hours of Winter, and 3- there are unnumbered packs of canines roaming our little town, unchecked, who were constantly "inviting" Jasper to go carousing with them.

For about two weeks, Jasper jumped the fence and then just
stayed in our front yard, which was nice . . . but it didn't last

First we fixed all the spots in the fence where we knew he liked to jump.  Then, we ordered a remote-control shock collar, and it seemed like the problem was solved for about three weeks.  The best part was that the "vibrate" function on the collar worked well enough to scare him from going over the fence.  But then Jasper figured out that whenever the battery on the collar ran down, he was home-free.  When he lost (or somehow got out of) the shock collar, we kept him in the garage while we spent a lot of time and money making our side porch into a dog run with a 6-foot high fence and gate.

Poor puppy on the side porch

This was a worse solution than the shock collar, because 1- I hate to coop up a dog that needs exercise and stimulation, and 2- it didn't actually work.  Jasper kept getting out, and I went through a horrible two months of constantly getting phone calls from neighbors, the middle school and elementary school, and finally, the animal control officer.  After she brought him back to me twice, I finally got ticketed.

In the doghouse.

During his three months of escape(December, January, and February), I asked Truman each month what he thought about finding Jasper a new home.  The first two times, he got tears in his eyes and said "no way."  The third time, he got tears in his eyes and said, "I think it might be best."

I emailed John and explained the situation with Jasper.  It was a difficult email to compose, but it made me feel better to write everything down (redundant--writing everything down always makes me feel better: hence this very blog).  Condensed version of the email below.

We're having a very hard time with Jasper.  He is sweet and lovable and obedient and he obviously loves us, but he also loves to roam.  He climbs and jumps the fence and roams around at all hours--even in the middle of the night.  For the past three months, we have been constantly working on training him to stay in the yard, and fixing the fence and building gates.   

The thing is, he is super smart.  He won't go out when we are home, but if we drive away, he is off like a shot.  If we did not live in the city, it wouldn't be a problem, but he loves to go to the Middle School and Elementary, and I am constantly getting phone calls from schools and annoyed neighbors and have even had to pick him up at the animal impound.  We are worried he will get hit by a car, or that a disgruntled neighbor will do him harm or steal him.

We thought for sure that our acre-size yard would be big enough for a dog, but truthfully, Jasp needs work to do.  He gets bored during the day when Allen is a work and kids are at school, and I am inside with babies.  He loves when I go out to do chores, but my animal and yard chores don't take very long in the Winter, and both Winter and school make up most of the year.  I am more busy than ever, and do not have an hour or two to devote to dog training every day, and that's what Jasper needs.

Both Allen and I feel sad/ashamed/annoyed at ourselves for not sticking with our commitment to get a dog.  It feels irresponsible to not keep at it and work harder.  But at this point, it feels just as irresponsible to keep him when he wants to roam and is unhappy alone in the yard for much of the day.  I do also feel annoyed at other people in town whose dogs roam around, so I know how they feel toward Jasper, even though I think their roaming dogs are the original bad influence :).

We will all be sad to see him go, but I won't miss the daily stress and guilt of trying to keep him contained, also the worry that he will get hit by a car or stolen or hurt by someone.  I wish we could have afforded to build a high board fence instead of the one we built, but now the cost of tearing this one down and building a different one would be even more, and Jasper already knows that he loves to get out.  We love him enough to want to find him a place where he'll be happier.  

All the family with Jasp

John wrote me right back, and was very understanding.  He also put some pictures of Jasper on an English Shepherd forum, and within a day, the owner of Jasper's "grandpa" let us know that she would drive out from Iowa to pick him up.

It was very hard to tell the kids, even though they knew we were trying to find him a new home.  Thankfully, they knew we had two weeks with him, and we took Jasper hiking or to the park almost every day of those two weeks.

Still, the night before Allen and Truman were set to drive to Wyoming to meet the kind Iowa rancher, we all cried and cried.  The kids could hardly go to sleep, they were so sad.  Seeing Truman cry was the hardest part for me--that's when I started second-guessing this decision.

Loving on Jasp the night before he left us

The GUT-WRENCHING picture that Layla drew to "comfort"
Mollie, who cried herself to sleep about Jasper for a week.
It's hilarious and heartbreaking, all at the same time.

It has turned out to be the right decision.   Not only did Mrs P. from Iowa drive 14 hours to pick him up, she also gave Truman a hundred dollar bill, even though we had told her there would be no charge!

Saying their last goodbyes at a truck
stop in Little America, Wyoming

But the time she spent driving and the money are NOTHING compared to the great photos, videos, and stories of Jasper (re-christened "Smokey, after his great-grandpa) that Mrs. P has sent us in the past month, letting us know that our energetic dog is learning to work the cattle with the other English Shepherds.

It was a hard lesson to learn, and one I don't want to learn again.  We all still get lumps in our throats when we talk about Jasper and especially when we look at these pictures, but we're so happy that HE is happy and went to the best possible home.  Ultimately, I am so proud of Truman for putting his dog's needs above his own needs.  I am so impressed with what a kind and sensitive young man he is.  It's way easier to make tough decisions yourself than to watch your kids go through them, but it's good to look back, a month later, and see the good that has come from this experience.

Below are all the pics, videos, and letters we've received from Iowa, and I doubt anyone can look at them and not agree that, although this decision was gut-wrenching, there couldn't be a better possible situation for our sweet Jasper.

Jasper's grandpa, Buster, who
lived to be over 14 years old

He's been real good.  No trouble on potty breaks. Found a pet 
friendly motel in Sidney Nebraska.  He seems to be handling 
the experience well. Curious about the dog in the mirror.  : )

They worked hard today :)

Spiritual "Journeyings"

Last March, I participated with my stake's seminary classes in "March Madness," in which everyone tried to read the entire Book of Mormon the month of March.  It was a great experience, and it helped me overcome my sometimes-reluctance to share "more sacred things" (see 1 Nephi 19:5) on my blog.
 

It's easy to share information about my church and its teachings, and it's not too much harder to share my testimony about the Savior and His Gospel, but it's difficult to share more personal insights or revelation (hence the word personal).  But though this is a semi-public record, I would be leaving out a large chunk of what is most important to me if I neglected to occasionally share my gratitude for personal revelation and spiritual insight, both precious gifts from our Father in Heaven.

Recently, I have been trying something new in my personal scripture study: when a certain phrase or verse stands out to me, I write that phrase down at the top of my daily "to do" list, and try to think about that phrase throughout the day.  It's made a pretty immediate impact in my daily life.  One of the phrases I wrote down several weeks ago was from 1 Nephi 17:2, "and they began to bear their journeyings without murmuring."  

Here is the entire verse:

And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

Some background about this verse: Nephi is talking about his wife, his sisters, and sisters-in-law, and even his mother.  They will have been travelling and living in the desert-wilderness for a total of eight years by the time they reach a land they call "Bountiful."  Eight years.  Eight years camping.  Eight years camping and giving birth and eating raw meat (probably because there wasn't much wood to burn).

BYU Geography Department map of the Lehi party's
journey from Jerusalem to Old World Bountiful

And he ends the verse by saying that these strong women "began to bear their journeyings without murmuring."  It's easy to initially chuckle at the plight of those women when I think of how they probably DID murmur at first, or maybe they even murmured for several of those eight years.  But if I put myself in their place for even a moment, there is little amusement.  What they did was incredible.  But getting to the point of no longer complaining?  That's truly amazing. {My friend Tricia shared a short article about "complaint restraint," and the benefits of trying to go without complaining for one month.  The article is simultaneously inspiring and daunting--it outlines just how hardwired with griping our brains can be}.

Arnold Friberg knows how to paint only strong people--men and women alike :)

This phrase has stayed in my mind for the past weeks, and I feel like I gained a new insight while I was listening to our Regional Conference broadcast on Sunday.  These kind of broadcasts are not very regular, and this one was addressed to pretty much the entire state of Idaho.  There were three speakers from the general authorities of the church (Brent H. Nielson of the First Quorum of Seventy, Neill F. Marriott of the General Young Women Presidency, and 92-year-old Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) and each talk was more inspiring than the last!  It was a wonderful and uplifting meeting of worship.

Sister Marriott shared a past experience she had had with a new sister-in-law.  I always love to hear Sister Marriott and her Southern drawl, and I especially love hearing from the General Young Women Presidency, but this talk was even better than usual.  

I appreciated how honest Sister Marriott was about her humanity when she related how hard it was for her to love her sister-in-law when she didn't even like her--all within the context of a circumstance that was humiliating and painful.  But Sister Marriott repeatedly testified that our Father in Heaven is the source of love, even love for others.  She shared how her desire to overcome her bad feelings and show love were not enough, but that our Heavenly Father enabled her to feel His love for this sister-in-law.  She said, "As we go to our Father in the Savior's name, we can bring the contention in our lives to nothing."  

Back to those women in Nephi's family . . . I hadn't even been thinking of them, but I suddenly realized, during Sister Marriott's personal story, that not only did these women have very demanding physical trials, they also had to live with the worst brothers-in-law for the entire eight years that they were camping/birthing/raw-meat-eating.  Nephi's brothers tried. to. kill. him.  More than once!  And Nephi's wife still had to travel with those brutes and live with them and, I don't know, possibly help cook for them.  And yet, there came a point when "they began to bear their journeyings without murmuring."

I think those "Lehite" and "Ishmaelite" women came to find out what Sister Marriott did--that we can overcome any difficulty with the help of our Savior--the physical trials they encountered were probably not nearly as difficult as the spiritual ones.  Sister Marriott gave some great counsel: "Identify the moments during the day when you will be the most vulnerable to feelings of contention, and pray for help."  I am sure that these scriptural women learned to do just that.  I hope I can learn the same lesson without camping-for-eight-years-with-people-I-don't-like :).  

The three talks seemed to have a similar thread running through them, from Elder Nielson's counsel to "bury our weapons of rebellion," and become converted, to Sister Marriott's much-needed insights into overcoming contentious feelings through Divine help, to Elder Perry's counsel to replace worldly traditions by strengthening our families with righteous and spiritual traditions.  And I loved Sister Marriott's continual Southern votes of confidence, "Ah know you can!"

I feel grateful, not only to have inspired leaders who speak with great spiritual power, but to also experience the gift of discernment and direction for my own life through personal study and pondering.  I was not expecting to have new insight about something I read weeks ago, and it came as a sacred evidence of God's notice of me and my life.  This particular experience has not only taught me about better ways to overcome trials or to avoid contention or to stop "murmuring," . . . perhaps more importantly, it's helped me re-realize how the Lord "delights to bless us" when we try to make Him a part of our day, every day.

Dearest children, God is near you, / Watching o'er you day and night, / And delights to own and bless you, / If you strive to do what's right. / He will bless you, He will bless you, / If you put your trust in him. / Children, God delights to teach you / By his Holy Spirit's voice. / Quickly heed its holy promptings. / Day by day you'll then rejoice. / Oh, prove faithful, Oh, prove faithful / To your God and Zion's cause. 

From the LDS Hymn book, "Dearest Children, God is Near You."

Karate Kid

For his sixth birthday, we gave Truman karate lessons, something he has been asking for for almost a year now. We started this week and he absolutely loves it. I think the uniform (which is called a Do Bok, in the Tang Soo Do style of karate that Truman is learning--the belt is called a dee) is half of the fun for Truman. He has had three lessons this week, (it'll usually be two a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and he is incredibly obedient and focused during the sessions. We're excited that he loves it so much, because it should really help him with his coordination and balance . . . two areas where he, um, can use a little extra help :).

Brigham loves karate, too. He yells along with all the kids when they are yelling "Ki hap!" as they punch and kick, and he can out-yell any of them. Karate Kids' World is located in a building that is not even a mile up the road, which is great, but the bad part is that it is still being renovated, so the waiting area for the younger siblings is not done yet. Brigham easily burns more calories than Truman does during the entire session (and I should be close behind on the calorie-burning, because I have been schlepping around after him, trying to keep the destruction to a minimum).

Below are some great pictures of Truman's first sessions. The one with the black background above is of him doing the Jhoon Bee stance, when he is ready to follow commands.